The Ethos of Casual and Tournament Play

I don't understand the cutthroat nature of gaming, sometimes.  I mean sure, people want to win because winning is fun, but it's hard for me to deliberately take advantage of friends in order to squeeze out that single victory.

Now don't get me wrong - I used to be a very competitive Magic player, and won my fair share of tournaments.  It gets on my nerves when people break or bend rules (my sister-in-law literally gives up in the last few rounds of board games and gives all her resources to her husband), and I do consider myself a recovering rules lawyer.  There's nothing wrong with knowing and enforcing the rules, but I honestly think I grew out of all that desire for victory-at-all costs.  Gaming is supposed to be fun for everyone involved.

I am WINNER!  WINNING is the ONLY FUN!

This is why I don't get people who say "I don't distinguish between tournament and casual play".  When I'm playing with friends on a Friday night, I want to take it easy and have fun while still respecting the rules.  Take-backs are ok, as long as they've been done before any AROs have been declared and before any dice have been rolled.  For me, this includes the revealing of TO Camo models, because that tactical choice wouldn't have been made if the initial move hadn't been made - so it's not really a take-back as much as a fake-out, intentional or otherwise.

Hell, there are people on the Infinity forums that seem to think that asking for LoF is a sin.  No, it isn't.  Not only is it part of the rules, but it's also part of the friendly, cooperative game experience.  Asking for LoF is ok.  Asking what models would have LoF on a particular point you want to move to is ok.  If I ask an opponent and he tells me, and then proceeds to say "well, now I have LoF on you", I'm going to be annoyed.  If I completely forget about a model that might have had LoF, though, then that's totally on me and I'll suck up the free shot.  I'm even ok with my opponent taking back one or two orders IF they were entirely uncontested i.e. move-move, move-move, oh crap I should have done something else.

Dressing it up with a smile doesn't change the fact that it's jerk behaviour.

One of the most common arguments for a constantly-cutthroat environment is that people need to learn to play tournament-style.  Even though I agree with the sentiment, I definitely don't agree with what it supports.  People don't need to learn in a pressure-cooker.  Some people thrive under pressure, sure, but there are a great many people who prefer a casual, laid-back learning environment.  And that is, and should be, totally fine no matter where you go.

In tournaments, on the other hand, I'm not focusing on learning.  I take the educator hat and toss it in the corner, because tournaments are explicitly about competition.  Once you make a move, you've made that move whether AROs have been declared or not.  I'm not a jerk about it, but people in general seem to understand the difference between tournament etiquette and the ethos of casual play.  Take the advice of a recovering tournament hardass: it's not worth stirring up bad feelings with friends just because you want to win a game or two.